A Welshman and an Englishman walk into Cbus Stadium

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Brisbane Roar v Newcastle Jets at Cbus Stadium in the Gold Coast, Brisbane victorious with a 1-0 scoreline. That’s the article, cya.

Nah jokes. Well I wish cos it’s 9:52am on a Saturday morning and I’ve been given the short straw cos none of our team want a Brisbane Roar article, hmm I wonder why. So what do I say about this game? I spent all last night during the game making sarcastically positive tweets for a bit of shits and gigs but honestly, I can’t be positive about the Roar no more.

Read any facebook post, tweet or reddit post in relation to Brisbane Roar this season. Comments after every game goes as follows;

Fan 1: Yay three points!

Fan 2: But it was a boring and flat performance.

Fan 1: Who cares!!!

Brisbane Roar CEO to Fan 2: What did you just say?!

So the Brisbane Roar fanbase seem to be divided by the, do we want to play sexy football or do we want to win. Neither is right or wrong, but Brisbane Roar obviously want to go in a direction of non-sexy football. So back to the game itself.

Both teams decided to hang around the midriff like a 14 year old boy at a blue light disco (do they still exist, am I showing my age?). It was absolutely compelling midfield stuff. Honestly, watching both these teams just hang back and allow the other to hold possession to then pounce and do absolutely nothing with it, was riveting stuff.

In the most un-Brisbane thing to do, the Roar go 1-0 up in the 16th minute from a who else but Scott McDonald shot. Scotty making an absolute fool of Topor-Stanley as he bangs one in and Italiano was left standing there like a stunned mullet. TLL’s favourite little Bosnian, Mirza Muratovic, gets his name on the assist sheet and is honestly one of the greatest things to come out of this Brisbane Roar season.

The ex-North Queensland Fury’s legend’s team decided to park the bus for the remaining 74 minutes as each Brisbane player played a game of ‘the final third is lava’. Brisbane’s best chance to make it 2-0 came in the 51st minute as Aldred’s shot fell directly into the keeper. Muratovic was there for the follow up with power, again saved by the Newcastle Jets defence.

Dimi Petratos gave us a moment in the 92nd minute as the ex-Roar player sent in a beautiful ball to ex-Jets/ex-Roar/now-Jets player Roy O’Donovan who hit the woodwork and destroyed any chance of Newcastle Jets fans having an enjoyable night after sitting through this 90.

The Newcastle Jets ended this game with no shots on target which really pissed off Newcastle Jets fans, and some bloke in Brazil. Both teams played some of the most boring stuff I’ve seen all week, and I did a lot of data entry on Wednesday. I’m so happy this is one of the games we have presented to the world to introduce them to the A-League before it inevitably gets cancelled or postponed (sense the tone).

By Rose Valente

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