Aloisi Brothers Outsource Jobs To Locals On Behalf Of Bakries Orders

We’ve all spent the season mocking John Aloisi and his senior citizens but Tuesday night during an Asian Champions League match, overtook last years’ ‘darkest day in Australian football’.

Not only did Brisbane Roar go down and get knocked out of the competition to Filipino side Ceres-Negros at ‘home’ in-front of just over 1200 eager spectators but.. It got a lot better.

Fans of the Roar have been calling for action all season. Long-term members are unhappy with how the club is currently run. Once were known as the ‘Roarcelona’ have taken a hard fall.


First John Aloisi replaced his energetic, youthful players he lost at the end of last season with slower, aging players. Then he trusted a striker from Serie A, obviously assuming he will keep up with the snail pace of the A-League. Finally he stopped using his bright orange hairdryer.

It’s believed the Bakries refused to ‘waste money’ on expensive scouts forcing Aloisi to contact local children in the yard. He found a group of under 10s playing a possession based 4-4-2 match out at Logan to replace his over-paid scouts with. The kids are paid with bottles of Mama Aloisi’s secret pasta sauce.

Their pitch maintenance at their training ground is carried out by a combination of guinea pigs, rabbits and goats. While their sports performance is run purely through Uni students.

However other than the constant injuries and occasional slow play, none of this is so much noticed until their ACL match. Upon further investigation TLL discovered this seasons A-League, FFA Cup and ACL kits were designed and sewed by the lovely folks at the Nursing Home.


It appears poor Esther and Dora who are head of numerical stitching, suffer intense blindness, which was awfully noticeable during the match as the numbers began to fall off the players shirts. Three players’ stitching began to come loose, Bautheac even forced to the sidelines with a kafuffle as to what to do in this situation.

After the match we attempted to speak with John Aloisi however he was pre-occupied restraining his brother Ross.

Leave a Reply