Australians Getting On The Piss A Lot Earlier This Saturday Morning

So here it is ladies and gents, leg one of our final World Cup Qualifier. We’ve been through many ups and downs, travelled through many muggy countries and made fun of countless images of Ange Postecoglou, but it all comes down to these 4 days.

We’ve endured months of negativity regarding Ange’s selections/formations, media against the code, Football media angry at other media for not caring, complaints about pitches, David Squires beauties and countless inspirational images from Tim Cahill and James Troisi. Will the boys be able to tune out the clouds of negativity in Australias game?

Sources who have travelled to Honduras claim the Socceroos have hired meditation and wellness coaches in order to block out all the negativity. It is believed the team have each been given their own crystal lamp in their birthstone colour and each partake in 3 x half hour meditation sessions per day followed by an aura flow at night.


Back home, local pubs are gearing up for what may be a crowd of 20 – 30 getting shitfaced while watching their team get the job done. It is believed Fox Sports are holding a sausage sizzle with a gold coin donation along with $5 bevs brewed in Andy Harpers’ garage, with all proceeds going to FFA if we fail to qualify.

On another note, The Ladies League would happily welcome Tara Rushton to the team if her job goes to shit.

Now Australia, we hold our breath…