Central Coast Mariners Attract Massive Hooters

After five rounds of poor attendances, the folk in the Central Coast have decided to attract new clientele.

In a bid to become a coastal powerhouse of Football, the Central Coast Mariners are now advertising to the Poultry Community. Ads have been placed in Coops, Nests and all good Fish and Chip Shops to become a Mariner today!

Some tactics they have used have been ‘Hatchlings Get In Free’ ‘Sundays; Buy One Worm, Get Your Second Half Price’ and a personal favourite half time entertainment ‘Scarecrow V Cannon’ which has attracted a betting pool located in Bay 7.


Our resources indicate memberships have increased to 6,130 Humans and 283 Fowl. We believe Fridays match against Sydney FC will raise concern as Captain, Alex Brosque, came out in the media today explaining they are not frightened “I eat Chicken Soup for dinner”.

It is expected a brood of Hens, an ostentation of Peacocks, a parliament of Owls, a rafter of Turkeys and a wedge of Swans will all be heading North for the game.