Chia-Midis The Next Best Thing Since Brangelina


With the 90’s techno music blaring, one could be forgiven for thinking Perth is a little more than 2-3 hours behind of the rest of Australia. But no, it is just a Perth Glory home game.

We all prepared for a 5-1 annihilation of the Mariners due to both teams’ current forms and for the first 30 minutes, this looked to be a correct assumption.

Within just 3 minutes Central Coast Mariners keeper, Kennedy was already down in the box (impressive, he certainly sounds like a keeper) but you know what they say, you get knocked down, you get up again. So he did just that.

Perth continue to control play, giving the Mariners absolutely no time or space or breathing air near the ball. I legitimately thought at this point we were viewing a Perth Glory training session. The Mariners players in my mind were slowly forming into cones.

In the 11th minute we saw a beautiful Chianese to Ikonomidis piece putting the Glory rightfully in front.

Then just as I was starting to tweet the standard ‘lel CCM suk’ tweets, I laughed as Hoole had a shot on target (due to the mere timing) followed by my jaw dropping from a hilarious Mrcela own goal in the 36th minute. The Mariners ecstatic that the rounds’ Golden Boot, Owen Goal (see WEL v ADL match review if reference is lost on you) makes an appearance for them.

However Owen’s contribution didn’t really give the Mariners the excitement you would expect. You know the kind of excitement you get when some bloke by the name of Usain Bolt comes and trains with you? Yeah that kind of excitement. Didn’t see it.

The second half kicks off about the same, a dominant Glory and an unsure CCM. Then, out of nowhere, on his 50th game, Shane Lowry received a beautiful pass from Kilkenny and slots it home.

No wait, don’t celebrate yet guys. Three minutes later in the 63rd minute O’Neill kicks a shot just missing Reddy’s fingertips and bangs in his first A-League goal. You could say Reddy’s reflexes weren’t up to scratch there. You could say a lot of things. All I remember is when we used to call him the ‘W*nker in the hat’ within the active support and I thought of this tonight because the poor bastard spent the whole game battling the sun. I mean, he’s just asking for wrinkles.

Throughout the second half, shit got real. Melling turned into a mummy, blood dripping down his face. Mariners getting about as rough as, well, Matty Simon. Who did get subbed on but surprisingly didn’t have much impact (please note the sarcasm).

In the dying minutes, Cisse attempts to take out golden boy Ikonomidis who was gunning for a third for the Glory. Cisse gets himself a yellow, making it his second for the game. For those mathematicians out there, you are correct, two yellows = red card. Cya Cisse.

The Mariners focus on defending their area without the biggest bloke in their squad. They were doing alright til that little beauty of a bastard Chris Ikonomidis bangs one in like he’s still at RnB Fridays. Mate, the Glory fans weren’t the only ones to erupt. Insanity. Excellence. Delight. Those are just some really positive words. BUT THAT SHIT WAS INSANE. We’re all still trying to recover right now.

Next round sees the Mariners face Sydney FC (good luck fellas, good luck) and Perth Glory have the Distance Derby, meaning they have to travel overseas to New Zealand. Yep, the good ol’ A-League hey.

By Rose Valente



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