Daniel Arzani Saves Australian Football, Again

Several Australian’s stayed up past their bed time to watch Australia’s last friendly match before the World Cup.

The first half was a bit like watching a Wellington Phoenix v Central Coast Mariners match. Hungary played like they had nothing to gain or lose and Australia played like a bunch of dweebs.

Robbie Kruse again had us asking questions as to whether he has somewhat of a charming charisma to continue being selected and Mark Milligan played like Melbourne Victory for the first half of last season, while Andrew Nabbout received about as many balls as a virgin at formal.  

Throughout the first half, Hungary came out blazing. A few howlers tested Maty Ryan, none that he couldn’t handle. Australia looked to be struggling, whether they were advised to take it easy or were just tired from the workload, we are unsure. However, here at TLL, we do trust Van Marwijk’s coaching methods.

Thankfully the first half did actually come to an end, with much of us watching in the early hours of Sunday morning, certain this was a never-ending experience.

Half time saw a buttload of changes. Nearly half the team were replaced, including Brad Jones coming on in goals.

In the 73rd minute, the wonderkid that A-League fans have been frothing over for several months was substituted for old man Kruse. Daniel Arzani with the fresh legs and abundance of youth, the youngest player in the entire World Cup, came on and wait what, scored a goal in the 74th minute?! No I am not pulling your leg or any other part of your body for that matter. I shit you not, the wonder kid. The kid who was brought here to save Australian football, the Jesus of Australian football, scored his first goal for Australia.

Don’t get me wrong it was nothing impressive. The goalie had a Karius moment but Arzani was in the right place at the right time. His confidence, his ‘get shit done’ attitude. That is what we respect. Yeah the kid has a bit of a diving problem he needs to fix but guys, he is 19 years old. I rolled around on the floor a lot too when I was 19, but this isn’t about me.


Throughout the second half we discovered Brad and Trent need to work on their communication skills. While the ‘Roos tried to Barcelona the shit out of the situation, it didn’t work, because we’re not Barcelona. Playing kick to kick to when-the-hell-will-this-end at the back, we turned over possession and well, we all cringed. Some Hungarian bloke (it was frikken 3am you do the research) went for goal and good ol’ Sainsbury decided to header the ball out or to Jones (we’re still trying to figure out which one), Brad Jones had no idea what Sainsbury was doing, and, the ball went in the back of our net. Like a good waltz, partners must communicate.

Thankfully for us all in our fluffy pyjama’s and not Caltex Fansie’s because they haven’t been delivered yet.. There was still another goal. And thankfully it was a Hungary own goal, lel. Another comical own goal off Tamas Kadar gave us the lead, with a little help from Irvine.

Over in another country that we couldn’t be bothered looking into, France drew with USA 1-1. Safe to say France too, took it easy.

So what does this mean for our first World Cup match against France on Saturday night? There are 10 thousand factor’s that could’ve come into play for our performance but let’s just pray that Van Marwijk knows what he’s doing.

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