E-Bots Decapitate Adelaide United

Adelaide United played against the A-League’s most plastic franchise on Sunday Night during their quest to continue their amazing achievement of drawing to Sydney FC.

It was a long flight home for the Adelaide Untied boys, even longer as Marco Kurz starved them of the opportunity to visit any Melbourne hipster cafés which serve juice in a jar. Ochieng especially was deprived of this as he was well off his game. Rumours are Ochieng, Garuccio and O’Doherty hit the Melbourne bar scene the night prior and were all experiencing wild hangovers.

In the meantime this was Melbourne City’s time to shine. Fresh from the controversial Tim Cahill departure and moving towards their ‘ let’s promote youth to save some money before the City Group terminate our establishment’ strategy.

Daniel ‘Wonder-kid’ Arzani stunned spectators as the first person in the A-League to piss off a normally calm, composed Isaias. The captain of Adelaide United was challenging Arzani more than the Australian media challenge Nick Kyrgios.

While Adelaide United went to the sheds two down, Melbourne City were just preparing for the carnage they were about to dish out in the second half. City holding back throughout the second half, giving them just a slight simmer of hope that they just may be able to possibly get back into the game.

During the second half there was a very serious injury to Nathaniel Atkinson and we send our well wishes his way.

Once play had continued, City, without the help of billion dollar marquee man Cahill, went on to decapitate any remains left of the Adelaide squad. However after the match, in a TLL exclusive, we unravelled a plot twist..

Melbourne City’s E-League E-Lete, Marcus Gomes was actually controlling each and every Melbourne City player on the pitch through his PlayStation. Each player was hooked up with technology enabling them to be controlled through this one device. Marcus was playing a simulated version of this match, controlling every play, pass, tackle and shot.

FFA are currently investigating into this as they have no idea where it stands in the manual. Technically Marcus is a Melbourne City player however there has been absolutely no information released in relation to the E-League and what you can and can’t do.

While Marco Kurz is turning so red in the face we’re surprised they don’t refurnish the Adelaide offices with him, Warren Joyce is standing tall on his decision “Marcus is a Melbourne City player and a good one at that, I really don’t understand the issue?” Joyce explained when questioned.

We await to hear a response from the Match Review Panel as to whether the score will stand.