E-League: It’s Taken Over The Game

In an age where 95% of Gen Z, iGen & Centennials are glued to their phone harder than a 14 year old male discovering pornography, E-Sports are soon to take over the sporting industry.

Our bodies are slowly evolving into the next stage of life with hunched backs, rounded shoulders, early arthritis and pasty skin lacking heavily in vitamin D. Our working day has evolved from hunting and breeding to administration and daycare. Our pastime hobbies have evolved from fighting to the death to fighting to the death via controller.

This leads us into FIFA’s newest test dummy exercise, the E-League, like the A-league but more pixelated. Representatives from each A-League team will be selected through months of long and gruelling training drills in beginner mode as it needs to be as similar to the current structure of the A-League as possible.

Fresh out of the Star Wars hysteria come the new age of E-Letes. They’ve stripped their $12 Big W T-shirts and replaced with a proper training kit. Never has their supple body touched such smooth fabric. Their single beds have been replaced with the finest cushioning while their 60” HD LCD Smart monitors are replaced by projectors.

However the fans are still unsure. Men thinking they could beat them, women wandering how much their net worth is and NSL bitters yelling at a cloud. How will each active support take this initiative on? Luckily there will be no flares distracting players, minimal background noise and barely any support in any way backed by the clubs.

With the E-League beginning February 1st, clubs Australia wide are finalising their contracts and nailing down their players, which is probably the first time several have ever been nailed.

Will you tune in to watch the average Joe beat a slightly less average Joe in your teams colours doing exactly what you could’ve been doing if you put your homework away and applied yourself to FIFA?