Greg Griffin Writes A Letter

Among all the first world problems we are currently experiencing in the A-League; pitch issues due to too many options for consumers, TV rights put ahead of fan enjoyment and the ability to complain directly to a clubs CEO in 280 characters; it seems too much technology has proven to be the biggest problem of them all.

The VAR has once again made a mockery of the quaint little town of Adelaide. Once a proud footballing community is now tarnished by Shaun Evans and the VAR. This isn’t the first time this season Shaun Evans has treated Adelaide United like the dirt on his boots. Earlier this season Evans made a few questionable decisions (or non-decisions) during a Victory clash which made the thinning hair on Griffins head turn grey.

Griffin has e-mailed the FFA as tightened security at the headquarters prevented him from barging through the doors in a comical fashion due to the royal visit this week. The e-mail touched upon many issues the league is currently experiencing and how victimised both he and Paul Okon feel by the VAR. There are claims the VAR has touched them in their special places, their ego’s.

David Gallop has opened his e-mails on Monday morning with the same attitude towards the working day as the FFA media manager after SokkahTwitter didn’t get their way; emotionally drained and slowly losing the will to live.

Greg Griffin has been in talks with Elon Musk to stage a Power Outage during Adelaide’s next home match against Melbourne City. He believes this would be the only way to avoid any possible use of the VAR. Griffin requires Musk’s help as the match will still need to be broadcasted as per Fox Sports agreement and they will still require lights all powered by the strongest Duracell operated generator.

However over time this strong friendship has blossomed and what was once a business partnership has turned into a mateship. It is believed Musk has put in a bid to purchase Adelaide United and with Coopers, create the first A-League stadium to be run completely on solar power. We also understand Musk is looking into a way to power much of the electricity through the foul shit that comes out of Ben Garuccio’s mouth but it’s still early days.

We tried to speak with Elon Musk however he was busy working on the super-secret ‘launch the Lowy’s into space’ mission as brought forward by Griffin, funded by Mark Bosnich and backed by the entire league.