Ah, Melbourne Victory.
Last week we sung together shoulder to shoulder, hurling banter and insults to the much loathed rivals, Sydney FC. What a great time we had, throwing beer into the air and chanting ‘We are Champions’ (you are champions, I’m just here to chaperone my brother), jumping around with the Japanese fans who have joined the Victory Bandwagon while Honda is around as we witnessed Sydney FC lose a derby while singing ‘Super Kev’ for a good 5 minutes, good times, good times.
This week, I hate you with all my heart.
But it’s not entirely Victory’s fault, we all know how great Victory play compared to how the hell we’re doing. Their passing is on point, cool, calm and collected, along with their ever threatening attack on goal. Their key men that make us fear for our lives is none other than Barbarouses, Antonis and their international star, Honda. With an attacking side like this, defending Fort Knox would have been easier, for god sakes, our defence couldn’t clear a word document if their lives depended on it.
The first 45 minutes were the worst minutes I had witnessed while playing Victory (so far), I missed Elrich’s 5th minute yellow card blunder, and thank god I did or it would have added to my blood pressure, which was already at a dangerous level.
It was Victory’s main aim to ensure that every chance they got, they were to break Oriol Riera’s spirit but also his legs. Bravo, Super Kev, you taught them well. They know who our target man is, they know what he can do and they know he’s had a rough start to the season and is hungry, looking for goals. Do you think they were gonna give him a chance to jumpstart his chances of putting his name on the score sheet? HA, NAH FAM. Victory don’t roll like that.
Melbourne get a penalty in the 39th minute and that does it for me. If you’re a Victory supporter, watching back that replay will bring you such joy. If you’re a Wanderers supporter, you’re most likely in the same boat as me and I think I speak for all of us when I say, THAT WAS NOT A (insert swear word here) PENALTY! YOU BLIND (and here) LAME EXCUSE FOR A REFEREE! WHERE’S THE (and here) VAR!? CALL SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU INCOMPETENT SON OF A (and lastly, here).
Moving on, we’re 3 – 0 down in the first half and I am not…okay. The group chat has grown quiet, I think the TLL team is scared to near death, to ask how I am, and rightfully so, I would have defiantly torn someone’s head off.
Second half starts up, we’re starting to see some flow, starting to see some passing movement, starting to s- who and I kidding, we still can’t pass the ball nor keep the damn thing at our feet.
On the opposite side, we have Victory still pulling these beautiful passes together, so beautiful, it could make a grown man cry…or make me cry right after Antonis scores the 4th and final goal of the night. Anyone wanna insert The Simpsons ’Stop, Stop, He’s already dead’ GIF here? It’s perfect for the situation that we are in, isn’t it?
In conclusion, (….in conclusion, I feel like I’m back in high school writing and English essay… IN CONCLUSION, Victory were the much better side, we need to work on our passing and possession, our defence needs to wake the f*** up or prepare to be replaced, our forwards need to learn to STAY ONSIDE, Oriol needs to start scoring soon and end the drought, Vedran Janjetovic is still a damn legend, if it wasn’t for him, it would have been 6 – 0, and last but not least, I am now mixing a strong drink to numb the pain.
Well done Victory, atta boy, defend your ground, defend your 3 points.
On to next weeks game.