Kurz Uses Shit NPL Pitch To His Advantage


It was a cold, miserable, wintery feeling day in Sydney. The clouds were grey, the pitch was soaked and the Macron trackies were well and truly out.

Adelaide met APIA Liechhardt Tigers in the quarterfinals of the FFA Cup and the only magic was from a fit, lanky fella from Adelaide’s North.

First of all, I would like to touch on my disgust of the food options available at this match. Forced to play their ‘home’ match at Liechhardt Oval (not their home) in front of 1,800 under-nourished spectators, poor APIA were forced to provide limited food options. Not to be a reflection on the club itself, however when one is attending a FFA Cup match, there are extremely high expectations for the culinary options available.

Now that I got that off my chest, I can focus on the shit pitch. Ok, it looked alright to the blind eye but players were slipping over more than I do in Mario Kart when some bastard’s dropped a banana.

Marco Kurz wasn’t quite at his chirpiest. I was distracted for at least the first 4 minutes watching Marco and the fourth official argue. I legitimately thought Marco was destined to spend the evening alongside the Nonni’s upstairs. He was a little upset the camera man got in his bubble. Wouldn’t you be? When you’re given a Bunnings chair and barely a metre of space to physically move in, you’d be a little shitted.

Trying to glue my eyes away from the comedy capers of the Adelaide bench, including the calamity that was one of the assistant coaches’ tracksuit pants tucked into his socks, I somehow managed to focus on the football.

FFA Cup specialist Craig Goodwin opened the scoring in the 70thminute with a bloody ripper of a goal. Craig well on his way to the Golden Boot of the cup, scoring more than those places you see off Hindley Street with a little red light do.

Adelaide fans, ecstatic. APIA fans, not so much. Maybe 2018 just isn’t the year for Italian clubs to succeed in cups?

While the cold settled in and TLL’s Social Media Producer’s fingers started to fall off, the game went about as stale as Nonna’s bread when she bakes for small village when in reality there’s only 5 people living with her.

A lot of stop and start, fellas getting feisty, fouls committed and late tackles. But only 9 minutes after Craig’s beauty, Mirko Boland showed us exactly what Marco Kurz teaches at training.. Always get on the end of an Isaias free kick. The reds clean it up with a second and cya later APIA they’re going to the Semi’s.

Adelaide United have drawn Bentleigh Greens away in the Semi Final of the FFA Cup. With Adelaide’s excellent FFA Cup record, I foresee Bentleigh enduring some misery.

Featured Image from Fox Football’s Twitter page.

By Rose Valente

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