Maclaren Left Wondering Why He Didn’t Call

BVM announced today his 26 players he will be bringing along for his European Contiki, I mean Friendly matches.

With superstars like Robbie Kruse and James Troisi selected, it’s no wonder there was minimal space for anyone else.

Much to TLL’s disgust, Jamie Maclaren was left out of the squad. Given he has had minimal game time in Germany it could be understandable. But now that he has ventured to Scotland he’s a scoring psychopath. The JMac is back to his old ways as captured by John Aloisi in previous seasons with The Roar.

It leads us to wonder, does Jamie Maclaren have a foul stench teammates can’t handle? We’d handle it just to be in the presence of a Maclaren.

First Ange Postecoglou continuously selects the wonder number 9 who’s been hiding in Greece with a thrilling economy and murderous league. Now Bert van Marwijk chooses an ageing dinosaur battling arthritis to ‘warm up’ and ‘play for fun’. Hell any more warming up and his bones will break from wear and tear.

So what have we all got against little Mac?

While they’re heading to friendlies Maclarenless, let’s just pray they head to Russia Maclarenfull. As exciting as it would be to see our ageing players face the likes of Griezmann, Giroud, Lacazette and Pogba, we think we would be utterly f**ked. Just the thought of Paul Pogba leaving us embarrassingly for dead while Cahill is trying to keep up while holding firmly onto his walker is enough for the nation to curl up in a ball and cry.

What can little Mac do to get his little paws into the squad?

Common sense would assume to continue with frequent game time and sensational performances however Australia has never been known to work with common sense. Below we’ve listed our top 5 ways to get a Socceroos call up;

  • Be labelled a B O L T E R
  • Fox Sports create several exciting packages
  • Commentary team continuously speak your name, even during a game which does not involve you in the slightest
  • Marry Graham Arnold’s daughter
  • Find out what Brad Smith has been doing all these years

Don’t worry Jamie, sometimes they just don’t call.

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