Melbourne Victory Get Absolutely Vucked


TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT OF NIGHTS! It’s the Big Blue semi finals game, on a cold, 8 degree night in Jubilee Oval.

The stage is set, the fans are flooding in, the teams are warming up, the actives are marching and I am…on the other side of Sydney still trying to convince myself and my relatives, to come with Rosa, to watch the game, after a long week and typical WOG mothers day/family gathering.

(Lemmi give the people who aren’t wogs or who live under a rock, a rundown of a typical wog visit….We sit there for 5 hours or more, talk about everything under the sun, bombard me with questions about marriage, bombard me with questions about my career choices, bombard me with food, get relatives from the mother country on the phone, sit and talk to them for another 40 minutes as they bombard me with the same questions, play football in the backyard with heels on, have about 5 cups of Turkish coffee, play a bit more football, break a window, run, come back …and then attempt to say goodbye for another 2 hours)

After a full 2 hours of planning, we finally agree to head to Kogarah and meet Rosa there. This is where the real journey begins…

We drive home, change out of our ‘FaMiLy ViSiTiNg’ clothes, throw on the usual all black, put on hoodie, speed on over to my cousins to meet up and all go together. Get to their house, get caught with other relatives, stand outside of the house and have a family reunion for another 20 minutes, then finally get in the car. Drive to Kogarah, do about 30 laps around the backstreets to find parking, finally find parking 3 blocks away, get out of the car, and RUN.

Make it 3 minutes into the game, walk in to the first goal being scored by the Skyblues as Lawrence Thomas fumbles the ball, and I’m automatically trying to put on my “stay positive” smile as I turn to my brother for reassurance, and he goes “naahhh, they scored early last season too, and look what happened there”.

At the time, I was really praying he was right…

After skipping around the hill at Jubilee to try and find Rosa, we meet, sit and watch the COMPLETE AND UTTER F*CKERY UNFOLD BEFORE OUR VERY EYES! Victory are NO WHERE TO BE SEEN, and Sydney FC are running absolute circles round the boys in Navy blue.

The second goal comes close to half time, by El Capitano, Alex Brosque. The Skyblue bloody froth at the mouth at the volley that sends them further into the lead. And just before half time, an own goal makes it 3.

In the second half, things don’t even SLIGHTLY become better for Melbourne Victory, as their chances to redeem themselves slips further and further away from them. A penalty for Sydney FC on the 62nd minute, after a risky challenge by Niedermeier, that sends Le Fondre tumbling and makes it 4 – 0.

Blink and you’ll miss it, because Le Fondre makes it 5 – 0, only minutes apart from his last. It’s a massacare of a massively successful football club, who are being torn to shreds by their most HATED rivals. There’s no coming back from this, and we all know it…so we spend the spare time we have in-between this 5th goal and the soon to be, 6th, checking out the new snapchat filter and I can tell you this… I think I look pretty f*ckin good in a beard.

After taking about 40 photos of me in a beard, I thought some lighthearted humour would make things better. And being the sarcastic bastard that I am, I thought it would be funny to shout “MAKE IT 6, YA COWARDS” …and to FINISH it off, no one even bothers to mark the majestic Serbian in Sky-blue, and Ninkovic, INDEED, made it 6 – 0… my brother turns to me and gives me the look of pure disgust and I know that, when I get home, … I’m dead.

It wasn’t all too bad, I mean, Victory did end up scoring 1… we celebrated like we won the f*ckin match, so that was a nice 7 seconds in heaven.

But other than that, the job was done. The game ended in 6 – 1, FTBL and Womens Game reporter, Nick Rupolo and TLL director, MichelleMorrisTV (subscribe to her, ya cowards), who are our closest mates, are most likely in the middle of a very happy, proud and loud, Sydney Cove. We’re on the opposite end, standing with a deflated Navy blue supporter crowd, along with a few pockets of Western Sydney Wanderers supporters who, like me, were here to see Sydney lose again (WOW, we f*cked up, didn’t we).

The Sky blues are off to Perth to take on the Glory and I am in a very, very difficult position… (yes, more difficult than 8th on the ladder)

Do I support my cross town rivals who I carry an intense loathing for…or support the purple blokes who is managed by the same guy who stabbed my club in the back and then signed a load of our best players because we didn’t have the balls to give them a longer and better contract…

And the answer to, “who will I support?” ….No one, I’d rather get chased Forlornly into heaven traffic.

SEE YA’LL ON TWITTER FOR THE FINALS! (Because I don’t have money to be flying anywhere, anytime soon)

By Christina Trajceska

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