NSL Bitters Can’t Figure Out This E-League Thing

The E-League has recently kicked off and it’s off to a cracking start. The metrics are high, the gamers are carb loading and the production level is top notch.

This has also given a new opportunity to presenters and commentators. The younger generation are given a shot and their enthusiasm is second to none.

However the older generation are still taking time to come around. While most have accepted it’s this new thing they just need to get used to, like smartphones, gaming consoles, millennial lingo and colour TV. Others have seen the excitement it gives the children and businesses are excited about consumers interested in the product.

One person who is struggling in particular is Ray Gatt, The Australian journalist. Gatty has been trying to get his head around this whole E-League thing. The journalist is just not understanding how watching two kids play a game can be a competitive sport. He’s not understanding the passion, the hatred, the anger, the way you smash that controller when you concede in the 89th minute to your rivals.

Gatty has formed a union with NSL bitters to boycott Thursday Nights. As we all know, the E-League airs every Thursday Night on your favourite streaming device. Which means Gatty and a group of NSL bitters gather at Lily’s in Seven Hills for drinks, food and to reminisce about the good ol’ days.

We believe last night after a few bevs, the union took to Fox Sports HQ. Armed with flags, foghorns and the family-friendliest flares you’ve ever seen. The group took to the glass walls of the Fox Sports lobby with whiteboard markers writing their NCIP values and footballing beliefs. Sentences along the lines of; Down With Gaming, SM4EVA, Get Outside Ya Delinquents, For Modern FIFA and more profanities in which we do not wish to continue on with.

It is understood 3 x NSL bitters were arrested, 2 x were fined with assault towards an officer, 1 x fined with drawing a penis on Timmy’s head in the foyer and another brutally burnt by a flare incorrectly lit.

While the typewriter generation are still processing this gaming revolution, Fox Sports are leading the way into introducing e-sports to the Australian market. Fox Sports are excited about the future as the current model of real sport is questionable. The A-League is currently experiencing as much interest as anyone who’s not a Victory supporter has in what Archie Thompson has to say.

Gatty will not receive any punishment from his employer as they believe he was just expressing his passion. The NSL bitters we believe will feel no harm as they will get back to their pizza shop and day to day contractor duties.