Amidst the glitz and glamour that is the Central Coast Mariners there’s a deep storm brewing. No we don’t mean the right back Kiwi international, we mean an internal shitstorm.
Paul Okon has for long now had issues with recruitment. Okon endeavors to attract the youth of today, millennial attitudes and all. And in return they’re just grateful they might be granted an opportunity of an income hefty enough to leave mum and dads place.
Okon is known for his unusual recruitment tactics. In the past he has been seen hanging out at the NPL, regularly attending music festivals and on occasion joining the twitter conversation.
For his latest recruitment run, he has created a Tinder account to lure in young (possibly) single males. However this has put a sour taste in the boards’ mouth, who explained to Okon “We’re not the Catholic Church. This isn’t how we run things here in Gosford”.
Confused of their backward ways, Okon didn’t give up. His Tinder profile read as follows;
Hey fam, how about those prices of avocados? Wow, tough crowd.
Do you like interstate sleepovers? Do you have experience living in close-quarters with 20+ other men? Can you listen to instruction? Are you familiar with Daryl Braithwaite? Can you handle big inflatable things? Do you know how to beat Sydney FC? Do you kinda have the drive to succeed but not too much?
Nothing weird hey. I just need some lads to come kick a ball yeah.
Today, after the son of a board member swiped left on Okons profile, a conference was called. The old school backwards board members didn’t want a bar of it. Tarnishing the Mariners good name after years of building it to the powerhouse of the North that it is.
Okon was banished. Never to be seen again. Well, until he gets another A-League coaching position.
Where does this leave Socceroos legend Paul Okon? Well he’s straight into the pool for the Sydney FC job he is. With tight contenders of Tony Popovic and Marco Kurz, this is a fight to the death that every journalist has created for clickbait.