At the Garden of Unearthly Delights you will find the puppetry of the penis and at Coopers Stadium, you will find puppetry of the Popa.
Mad March brings the freaks out of the woodworks. But unfortunately for Coopers Stadium on a Friday night, it doesn’t bring much atmosphere. While 86% of Adelaide are sipping their coconuts and drinking overpriced beer out of plastic cups sitting on grass, the football faithful spend their evening chanting about putting their opposition in a barrel.
The #PopaPress was displayed in all it’s glory with Ikonomidis, Chianese and Castro all bringing their A-game to the little city of churches. All while Adelaide continued to find their way out of their recent slump. Spoiler, they did not.
Perth were the first to test their shooting boots but luckily for Reds fans, their first goal was still a half hour away.
In the thirty-something minute Castro scored easier than a gay man at Mardi Gras. Adelaide’s defence switched off – although you could argue they hadn’t turned on. I will give Paul Izzo the benefit of the doubt and assume his terrible defence blocked his vision. Maybe the Reds will have to start a seeing eye dog next week.
The game continued to tiki-taka along with a short corner count as high as Snoop Dogg. Adelaide with their new and ‘improved’ tactics of short corners were sending my heart into short beats. I’m starting to think Kurz is sending them down the shitter intentionally to get his hands on one of those infamous mutual termination things.
Thomassen proved to be living up to my theory of Adelaide United’s curse, being the place strikers go to end their careers, who did not impress me much. He could be a rocket scientist but if he can’t score, that don’t impress me much.
The Glory team however were playing like a fat kid who just got his birthday cake. This team just love playing together, it’s something really special to witness.
In the 70th minute the travelling Glory fans (TGIF AM I RIGHT?!) got to celebrate with their favourite Irish man who got his pre-St Patty Day celebration in by finding the back of the net. A beautiful run with an excellent execution at the right time saw the Glory go 2-0 up.
The game ends with more short corners, more impressive Glory runs and I’m left with really not much more to say.
Liam reddy heads home feeling like a public servant, getting paid to do sweet fa and Marco Kurz checks if the Bakries have sent a follow up email.
By Rose Valente