Round 1 Derbies suck


Brisbane girl who moved to Melbourne is forced to watch the most boring Round 1 derby ever in which she hopes no one wins and yet she is disappointed to get what she wants.

I want to blame my World Cup curse for moving into the A League as well but lets face it, this is why you don’t have round one derbies. You might bring in the new fans but then they watch whatever that was, they do not come back. The diehard fans are in a closed stadium to try increase the noise (???) and keep the cold out but given you don’t know who half the bench is yet, it is hard to make good chants. This game was just boring and so quiet you’d think the police were right outside ready to raid the place if Docklands peace was disturbed by something other than the Casino.

Kurz now coaches Victory and we all cheered that there was no longer a Muscat on field. Never fear, Fox Sports thought it would be a great idea to have him commentating. HA! Definitely-not-a-serial-killer Mombaerts now takes charge of City because Joyce made boring plays and though I am probably over-exaggerating given one game was played, I question what Mombaerts is bringing in his bag (other than zip ties and duct tape).

City are without Maclaren who was a superstar against Nepal and one of the commentators had the audacity to say that was comparable to Victory being without Kruse. I nearly choked on my dinner. Oh and Nabbout’s booty is now in new colours, there were a lot of debuts, and Toivonen is captain. All caught up? Great.

This game was a dud. Even with a clear runway down the centre of the pitch, it apparently wasn’t enough signal for either of these teams to score. And because the stadium was so quiet, you got to enjoy the four commentators searching for things to talk about. Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to include *more* commentators given how much #sokkahtwitter complains about the ones we currently have?

Jamieson and Broxham got into some early tussles for a fight that no one cared who would lose. Wales missed a decent shot in the 10th minute and though Roux tried his best, apparently three corners in the 39th minute wasn’t enough for him to convert. There were a couple of early counters in the first half but maybe they needed lights down the runway or forgot you need a final thrust before actually shooting? It may have counted as a shot on goal but I was not convinced.

In the second half, Kamsoba managed to convert for Victory and pull off 4 amazing backflips and fist pump the air in front of a rowdy bunch of supporters. But unlike when Bulut took of his shirt, jumped the barrier, hugged a bunch of fans and turned around to see the offside flag raised (never forget), we had to wait forrreevvveerr for VAR to review a pretty obvious offside. Back to centre only for a goal kick. The police must have been happy the ruckus was dying down.

In the final minutes, City and Victory decided football was boring and given the UFC was just played there why not include some shoves, wrestling, and pulling. Again, Jamieson was involved (such a gem that guy) and Toivonen decided to make more enemies with Dellbridge. Some might say this was the fire of the game they wanted but honestly, even the tussles were predictable. What have you possibly got to be fired up for given neither of you have done anything noteworthy for 90 minutes?

Kurz doesn’t need a red tracksuit to still be angry getting into it with Young, the GK coach for City. What was said is anybody’s guess but they were the loudest in the stadium as the crowd quietly exited Marvel / Etihad Stadium.

Final score 0-0. If you would like to be warned about what games I pick to review so you can avoid them, just let me know. I am going to go back and re-watch Adelaide v Sydney.


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