Substance Abuse Causes More Homelessness For Wanderers Fans

In another addition of ‘Reasons that contribute to our failures as a National Team due to our home league run poorly’ the Western Sydney Wanderers match against Wellington Phoenix was postponed this weekend.

Wanderers announced the pitch at Spotless Stadium, their temporary home, was deemed unsafe. However safety hasn’t been an issue previously with the club when fans are allowed leave from home detention to attend the matches.


Through thorough investigation, it was brought to our attention a music festival is to blame for the rough conduct made on the pitch. For a change the high levels of intoxication and substance abuse were consumed on the pitch rather than in the stands.

The Wanderers players seemed a little less concerned about the situation than the fans as “no one really cares about The Nix anyway” a player who wishes to be left anonymous explained. “We now have more time to eat Paella”.

What’s really unfortunate in this situation is The Nix are forced to stay another week in New Zealand.