Sydney FC Contract Gastro After Drinking Adelaide Tap Water

Sydney FC drew to the Central Coast Mariners on Saturday Night, the only team capable of bringing down Arnie’s Almighty’s this season.

While the Mariners were preparing themselves for the Pacific Highway Derby, Sydney FC were battling side effects from drinking Adelaide tap water.

Every A-League team is under very strict instructions while in Adelaide not to drink the water, unfortunately over half a dozen players decided to rebel, not understanding the importance of this rule. It is believed some of the boys made cordial prior to the match as it was a nice, warm summers late afternoon in Adelaide. However, due to it being a Sunday, they were unable to find anything open in Adelaide and opted for the hotel’s tap water.


During the Adelaide match, we had noticed poor shots on goal and overall poor decision making however we just thought what was Adelaide United’s NPL team out on the pitch, were just too good for the Championship side.

During Saturday Nights Mariners match Sydney FC were turning over the ball in dangerous areas and sending crosses into an empty box. Paul Okon played with a 0-4-6 formation, forcing Ninkovic into defensive duties, eliminating any creativity. However, little did we know, Ninkovic was struggling to think of anything else other than “Don’t be sick, don’t be sick, don’t be sick” while Jordy Buijs was running a little off as he was purely trying to avoid shitting himself.

Alex Brosque had been in the shits since the Adelaide game but we were unaware this was literally as well as figuratively. We spoke with Brosque’s wife after the match who informed us that she’s had to buy so much toilet paper this week, she has earned enough flybuys points for a return trip to Perth.

In the meantime, Michael Zullo has lost 4 kilos from his tiny stature and hoping for once in his life he’ll lead in the weekly skin fold test. We also heard both Bobo and Mierzejewski racked up a hell of a fine with Qantas for ruining a row of chairs during the flight home on Monday.


Graham Arnold only announcing this in the post-match press conference confused media and fans. Arnold explained that no announcement was made as he didn’t believe it would affect their game as it was just the Mariners and endeavors to keep positive communication open with Greg Griffin. When asked why no substitutions were made before the 84th minute Arnold replied with “Well they were all f***ed anyway, so it didn’t really matter by that point”.

We wish the boys from Moore Park Road a speedy recovery as they need to focus their attention to the annual Australia Day Big Blue. Hopefully they can avoid returning from Melbourne with any further diseases.  

 

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