Sydney FC Show Melbourne City How To Get Down To Sexy Football

Saturday night’s blockbuster match involved what is arguably the best team in the A-League history and what is arguably the biggest waste of money in the City Group’s history.

However, the focus was on the individuals. Bruno Fornaroli returning after months on the sideline following a horrific FFA Cup injury – which is how rule ‘Fornaroli’ was created; a ruling in FFA Cup matches were NPL teams can be seriously sanctioned if a dangerous tackle takes place on a good A-League player. We also had Iran’s hottest property/Socceroos bolter Daniel Arzani, not to mention Sydney’s star-studded front line of Ninkovic, Mierzejewski and Bobo.

Despite losing Melbourne City’s worst home loss in the (little) history of the club, Daniel Arzani still maintained a healthy stream of mentions. The Iran born Australian wonderkid has been on everybody’s lips for several weeks now. Especially as Bert is starting from scratch, everyone out there believes we’re going to find an endless supply of magical players who have been hidden away from the general public. Ironically all we need to do is visit the Centre of Excellence which has been cut funding by FFA in order to find these types of players for the National Team. Who would’ve thought.

We all know staying relevant is the easiest way to receive a cap. When Giannou started over Maclaren last year I believe the only people actually excited about this ‘fresh’ selection were those who had and still have, their heads at least a quarter the way up Ange’s asshole.

Luckily, we have finally, for the love of God found a way to quieten Bruno Fornaroli which is a task in itself. Another Socceroos bolter according to Fox Sports (just needs a citizenship) who is normally a safe bet if you want to put on an anytime goal scorer. In the 64th minute, the seven thousand City fans in attendance went wild as Bruno returned. Unfortunately for these fans, the other 10 players City have were shit. Apparently giving Sydney FC space was a task they felt they must do, maybe they just weren’t as into Sydney FC as Sydney FC were into them. 

Sydney’s front line were as the kids say, killing it; Bobo went loco scoring a brace, Ninkovic flicking one in the box, Mierzejewski making a fool out of Bouzanis and Zullo sending so many balls in, you could mistake him for one of those tennis ball machines.

Lads on a Melbourne away trip were losing their absolute shit. And why shouldn’t they? Sydney is controversial at times but their football is sexy. You’ve got Ninkovic dribbling the ball as though he’s a fat kid waiting for ice-cream cake, Zullo making so many important runs up the left you could mistake him for someone who’s just robbed a bank, Redmayne protecting the area like an Italian father before his daughter’s first date and then you’ve got Bobo and Mierzejewski banging them in like they’re in the Geordie Shore house.

We’ll need a little more evidence to prove Melbourne City suck, but we’re a bit too busy watching replays of Sydney FC’s sexy football with the blinds shut. As always, practice safe football.