Two Teams That Everybody Forgets Exist Go Head to Head

75 Newcastle Jets Members, 2 Wellington Phoenix Members who relocated to Newcastle several years ago for the coastal scenery and seedy nightlife, along with roughly 22 spectators from the General Public gathered for Jets v Nix.

The Jets spent a lot of the first half dominating Keegan Smith’s box, maintaining possession in an 18 year olds’ box isn’t un-common in the town of Newcastle. However a lot like any other Saturday Night in Newy, The Nix’s defense weakened and allowed O’Donovan to pounce, twice. Honestly, we couldn’t imagine anything better than a man who just hangs around the box waiting for a self-doubting opportunity to hammer one in.


On several occasions Roy Krishna was confused with the ball due to his latest hairstyle, which made it unfortunate when Dimi Petratos tried to hurl a screamer. We believe it’s to steal attention from DJ ‘Chika Chika’ Champness who gets all the commentary attention.

It is believed some of the rough translations from the Wellington Phoenix bench were along the lines of “Shoot farken!” “I’ve seen better forward runs from my 75 year old Majka” “WHY YOU STANDING AROUND FARKEN” and “YOU ALLOW MAN TOO MUCH TIME ON BALL”.

As this article goes to press, the “Very watchable” match as Simon Hill calls it, is a 2-0 thriller sitting at Half Time. We are unsure if the broadcast will even allow to continue due to a low viewing.