Wanderers See Red As They Trickle Out Of The Finals

Sunday night saw Adelaide United kick the Western Sydney Wanderers out of Finals contention in a controversial way. Controversial if you’re a Wanderers fan that is. The relegation of the finals battle for 6th position was hot and heavy between the Wanderers, Perth Glory and Brisbane Roar.

The boo’s roared around the stadium, including the one fan screaming bloody murder from the top tier as one of the Bacci was shown a red from a clear studs up challenge on Adelaide United’s saviour, Johan Absalonsen.

For Adelaide, Diawara finally learnt where the back of the net is, Adlung remembered how to use his striking foot and Kitto found unmarked territory. Meanwhile the beautiful ex-Adelaide United man gracefully put one away against his old club and the beautiful Spanish man up front scored a penalty.


Hilariously, as half time neared, Paul Izzo saved Oriol Reira’s penalty. I know right. What the hell is happening. We believe Paul Izzo has saved more penalty’s this season than George Blackwood has scored goals (roughly but you get the jist).

While Izzo and the Reds rode this high into the sheds at half time, Josep Gombau continued to smile and responded with “Is okay hehehehehe” as he chuckled his way into the team talk. The Red’s focused themselves on demolishing the peasants from the west and Gombau continued to chuckle.

The second half was a blood pressure raising realisation of how much their team actually suck. Fans leaving the stadium before full time to beat that crazy 7pm Sunday night traffic, long term members sitting with their arms crossed in disgust as to what this team has become, while young children were advised to begin the PopaIn banners.

Once full time hit, Brendon Santalab kindly assisted the groundsmen of ANZ Stadium by watering it with his salty tears. Meanwhile, Gombau explained to the media where it all went wrong “We no play good enough hehehehe” and Vedran Janjetovic was forced to formally apologise to his sponsors for shaming their brands.


Where does this leave the Western Sydney Wanderers and their constant need to re-brand themselves?

We understand Keanu Baccus will be refocusing his attention to a career in Karate, Alvaro Cejudo is in the application process of becoming Australia’s sexiest foreign representative for Tourism Australia, Raul Llorente will brush up his acting skills in attempt to audition for the role of ‘creepy Spanish man’ in an up-coming movie, Chris Ikonomidis will continue to impress the new Sydney FC coach in order to play at his childhood team and Jack Clisby will look into soft-core Porn to pay the bills.

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