Why am I not surprised?
Readers discretion is advised, I’m sad, I’m angry, but most of all, I’m dead inside. If you are offended by any wording of this sh*ts and giggles article, please do not hesitate to contact TLL HQ on 1800 – IDGAF.
I didn’t even watch the damn game so according to twitter, we started off well, like majority of our matches. We keep up the pace, pass to each other well, give the opposition a bit of a push and then score a nice goal. This all gives us a little bit of hype, confidence, makes us think “well, maybe this is our game?”
Look at us go, we’re giving Glory a run for their bloody money, making good ol’ ex coach, Papa, squirm in his all black attire, as he holds onto that little black note book full of secrets, for dear life.
Another positive is new signing, Yeboah. My god, that man can run. A massive threat and a key signing. Along with the other lil knick knacks that were added to our squad this match, was our talented youth who put up a great fight. So that was a nice touch to the game, seeing the youth get their shot and show the rest of Australia that our first team other player’s aint sh-.
As for everything else, well, it can f*** right off.
The first half of the game passed and I decided to check a little after half time on ‘Google’, see how we’re going with the scoreline, and surprisingly, we’re up 2 – 1. No shock that we gave away a goal, but we’re still in front. Things could go well from here.
I still refused to watch the game because, ya know, I’m still healing from the last screw up against the Nix, my psychiatrist* doesn’t recommend opening up wounds that are still healing.
*By psychiatrist, I mean myself. I just wanted to sound special.
I was right, though. I was soo right, because as soon as I gracefully waltz passed the living room door and decided to take a peek at the score line, Majok scores, makes it 3 – 1, and my ice cold heart begins to beat again, ever so slightly.
NOT FOR LONG!
My confident red and black supporter ass went to go get a cup of Chamomile tea, before I returned to the living room to witness, what I thought was, our first win.
I returned to a Penalty to Perth, that made it 4 – 3…
After the game ends, I decided to ‘rewind’ and rewatch where it all went wrong within 10 minutes, and it all make sense again.
Our defense doesn’t know how to defend, but we also got robbed a handful of times by none other than the magic men of the moment! Please put your hands together to welcome, the referee and the V – A – R! *crowd goes wild and not in a good way*
I watch the replay, see the stupid move that our Capitano pulled and sighed ever so deeply, my lungs almost collapsed. But then I saw the soft fall from our Glory-ous man in royal purple, Andy Keogh…It’s now that I look over to my Chamomile tea and say to myself “B*tch, you’re delusional if you think that’s gonn’ calm you down”
The game ends 4 – 3, I retire to my laptop, skim through Twitter and Facebook, read the comments and begin to write this article as I replace the cup of tea with a nice cup of arsenic.
If we can take away anything from tonight, is that we are slowly but surely getting to the glory that Markus Babbel speaks of, no doubt. But we also need to have left a few people behind in 2018, we need to teach our defense what ‘fall back’ and ‘ pressure’ means, and we need to play the youth more often/ And last but not least, we need to get Christina some mental help, because she’s starting to talk about herself in the third person, that’s the first sign of crazy.
By Christina Trajceska