Young Male From Northern Suburbs Robs 9 Men In Adelaide Overnight


Every instalment of Adelaide United v Brisbane Roar at Coopers Stadium in recent years seems to be of controversial decent and this one my friends, was no different.

Within 8 minutes, Ken Ilso didn’t last as long as I initially hoped. Ilso goes in with a silly studs up challenge on Matt Mckay and is given a red card. A very, very light challenge which was in my opinion, a yellow, and really pissed me off but was still verified under the technicality of dangerous.

After plenty of bitching from Adelaide’s Viking, he eventually made his way off the pitch. To my understanding he was muttering something along the lines of ‘I missed a bloody ripper sunset cos of this shit’.

18 minutes into the first half, Henrique finds Izzo coming out from his area (standard). Henrique decides to confuse the poor, very easily confused guy by beating him with his run and slots it home. However the goal was called offside initially. Upon replay, in what may be an unpopular opinion, it looked as though the forearm of Henrique was offside. In my opinion, I too would call that offside but unfortunately for my team, the VAR did not agree and the decision stood.

While both teams a little flat, assuming due to the weather (oh you didn’t know it was hot? Just ask any Adelaidean..) but it was Brisbane Roar holding the possession like I want Ilso to hold me.

Amongst Adelaide’s sloppy play, Dylan Wenzel-Halls banged in his first A-League goal. Unfortunately for the Reds, Wenzel-Halls made the most of a Strain attempt-to-defend rebound. I don’t want to take away the poor kid’s thunder but let’s be honest, scoring against this Adelaide team tonight would be like scoring at a brothel. I’ve seen Adelaide United’s defence more competitive while playing beach soccer at Henley Beach.

While I was praying for a comeback during the fortnight of comebacks, Taggart wanted to destroy my hopes and dreams. The striker making the most of Izzo’s lack of judgement tonight to get his name on the scoresheet.

As we entered stoppage time and Reds fans entered the 45th minute of pain and embarrassment, Hingert fouls a penetrating Craig Goodwin just outside of the good spot. The Reds are given a free kick in what looked to be an awkwardly uncomfortable spot, a little too close. But do you think that fazed Isaias? Lel pls. Isa curled his dead ball over the top of Brisbane’s wall to give us an un-saveable goal!

Going into half time, you could feel the Reds had lifted.

Adelaide came out in the second half with the need to draw blood from their opponent. Brisbane came out a little less exciting, not exactly parking the bus but more so unable to keep up.

The first 13 minutes of the half kept us in our seats and the heart rate down at a comfortable spot. With the scoreline currently 1 – 3, no one would’ve predicted what the second half was about to dish out.

Dane Ingham, already on a yellow from a hard challenge on Strain in the first half, decided to aggressively kick the ball out of play. Wot? Huh? Nothing great about that, Dane. Unsurprisingly, the ref, Alex King, dishes out the second yellow for the young New Zealand international. Brisbane fans everywhere shaking their heads as they watch their team go down to 10 men, now matching the Reds.

In a fixture that seriously never disappoints, I thought, heeeeere we f*cking go.

As Adelaide were increasing with enthusiasm as time went on, Craig Goodwin was making a speedy run but unfortunately forgetting his safe word as Jamie Young comes out of the box and rams the poor lanky bastard resulting in a red card for Young. As little back up keeper, White – who coincidentally looked exactly that, rushes on with absolutely no time to mentally or physically prepare.

Craig, still trying to figure out what year it is, steps up for his well deserved free kick after taking a worse hit than FFA’s reputation over the last month. The shot hits the wall however Goodwin was ready for the rebound and puts it away.

2 – 3 The Reds are still alive.

Adelaide spend the next 10 minutes knocking on the door but as their season has shown, no one is ever home.

Somehow Craig has kept a few brain cells from his earlier knock and finds Blackwood who is clearly scared by Adelaide’s new striker as George was hanging out in a very convenient area. Goodwin with the cross in and Blackwood finishing to equalise. Crazy isn’t it? We’ve been waiting all season for these plays and as soon as they’re faced with the danger of losing their place, they remember how to be striker..

At 3 – 3 everyone at the stadium and at home watching could feel there was more to this game.

Whether Roar had 9 or 17 men, I really don’t think Adelaide would’ve played any different. Their first half was horrible, it’s like they had bets on how bad they could be. But once the on switch flicked, they were like Perth Glory on steroids. Absolute domination for the second half.

7 minutes of stoppage time was added, a bulk being due to the drinks break in this crazy heat. For Adelaide fans it felt like 7 minutes in heaven. We knew we were due to steal it.

Ok ok ok no wait, ok, I’m so excited I can hardly type. I loved this game. Some people described it as Peak A-League but I don’t think we’re even close. This league, it’s magic.

Substitute Armiento, an exceptional player in the Adelaide United NPL team getting a run, with a pass that could’ve been a shot (but who gives a damn shit) which Mileusnic gets on the end of to bring it f*cking home in the 97th minute.

4 – 3 mother f*ckers.

Coopers Stadium erupts, Adelaide United players turn into a game of Jenga and Marco Kurz bursts a couple of veins.

Holy crap how did that all happen? What the hell did we all just see?

I don’t give a shit, we did it. We’ve had some real lacklustre games recently and man, did we need this. Never mind our ever mediocre position on the table. I mean let’s be honest Brisbane Roar, you’re not getting into the finals anyway. Just focus on your W-League team and celebrate your Y-League team.

By Rose Valente


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